What has happened since I last wrote here? Admittedly much. A wealth of experiences too expansive to convey within the short period of time I have allotted to me now.

But where, at least, do I begin? I suppose I can start by saying that I am now considered a legal adult, or that my grades have improved so much so that I'm now only failing three classes.

But none of those provide me enough fodder for which this diary is ultimately intended for: reckless introspection.

And what does? For what can I attribute my recent bouts of irrational exuberance coupled with hysteric fits of crying just moments later, with my most recent episodes being today?

Whenever I sit down and ask myself that question, I start to think. When I start to think, I analyze, then I criticize, then I dissolve into a puddle of self-loathing.

And what did I come up with today? Nothing new. I'm an idiot, I have poor judgment, and I have very weak willpower. My friends come in sets, and I have many sets of friends. I increasingly find myself sitting alone because of a poor decision on my part with at least one person from each group. I have offended so many people this year, and have been at the center of much drama due to moronic decisions on my own part.

To J-, M-, C-, J-, J-, A-, E-, C-, R-, K-, I extend the deepest apologies I can offer. So deep that I draw blood, pull out hair, and shed tears every night I think of the ten of you when I'm alone in my room not able to fall asleep. Even though I avoid eye-contact with all of you, this is an apology to the ten of you specifically. I don't think I'll ever be able to bring myself to apologize to you in person.

I never want to be alone; nothing good ever comes of it.

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