back to school, a fifth year
Sunday, Aug. 31, 2003 9:24 p.m.
No, I'm not ready.I don't want to go back to school, damn it! I don't want to be subjected to a fifth year of seven hours of humiliation and belittling and mind-numbing uselessness a day! Bah! If it weren't for school and it's horrid assignments, I'd be a happy and well-adjusted person. It's because of school that my parents despise me, it's because of school that I walk around thinking suicidal thoughts half of the time, it's because of school that I can think of no way in which I can be happy in the future. It's in school where we're supposed to learn our skills and aptitudes that determine what we will do and who we will be in the future. But for those who struggle for years not knowing what they should do or what they can do, or even trying to do what they can't, it's horrifying. I wanted to perform music professionally, that won't happen as there are many others who are so much more talented and dedicated than I am. Photography has been beckoning to me lately, but my acquiring a camera is proving exceedingly difficult. Screwing up high school affects what college you go to, assuming you can still go, which in turn limits what you can do. My high school grade point average is below passing, a 0.9 on a 5.0 scale I believe. What does that mean for me? A future position in the sign factory where my uncle works, that's what. Why do we have to be kept from what we enjoy, to prove that we know something that we'll never need? And if we can't prove it, why do we have to keep trying?
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